The Cost of Pride
by Ellfine
Summary: After the men leave for the War of Wrath, Eärwen prepares for her first day in court as ruling queen of the Noldor.


**The Cost of Pride**

Many thanks to Fiondil for the beta.

**Disclaimer:** Playing in Tolkien's sandbox. I make no money from this.

**Note:** Written for the Tolkien Tango "Courage" prompt and for the JulieFiannaArchive Challenge #10.

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Her heart raced as she turned toward the mirror. Restless hands smoothed and retouched invisible wrinkles from the skirts of her  
lavish ocean-blue dress. Embellishments embroidered in gold flashed as she turned yet again to admire her court attire from all angles.

"Eärwen, you look fine! Stop fidgeting so!"

The dark-haired woman at her side grabbed her by the shoulders, stilling her fully facing the mirror.

"Anairë, I cannot help it! Would you not be uncomfortable if you were in my position?" Eärwen responded irritably.

"You will be even more uncomfortable if you do not remain still so I can finish this last braid."

Grumbling a lengthy curse in Telerin, Eärwen stilled her movement.

"I understood every word you just said, my sister. And that is not the behavior one would expect from a queen about to meet her subjects." Anairë commented in longsuffering tones laced with amusement.

"Oh, you never heard Arafinwë preparing for a day in court. He has some rather interesting phrases he uses on such occasions which he claims my atar taught him." A smile briefly crept across Eärwen's face at the memory.

Fastening one last intricate silver braid with a jeweled comb, Anairë smiled in the mirror over her queen's shoulder. "Nolofinwë looked on court as a challenge and not nearly as much of a nuisance as you and your beloved seem to view it."

"Anairë, this should be you preparing for this day or better yet, Indis but certainly not me. I am not...They are not even my people!" Eärwen sighed in exasperation. Bowing her head, she clasped her hands beneath her chin and turned toward her sister-in-law. In a small quiet voice she continued.

"Do not remind me that they are my people by marriage, for you have said this many times before. I know and accept that. But what troubles me is that they fear me. They are afraid of me. Me, Anairë!" She looked up at her closest confident, tears glistening in bright blue eyes. "Afraid! Do you know how difficult it has been for me looking on the Noldor for these last 500 years and more and never seeing them meet my gaze? I have tried to forgive and move on after the kinslaying and the loss of my children, but they...they glance at me furtively even now, still fearing that I might blame them for crimes their kin may or may not have committed against mine. How can I move on when they refuse to?"

Smiling weakly, Anairë gently wiped the tears from Eärwen's face with a lace handkerchief, then placed a finger under the younger lady's chin and raised it so their eyes met.

"My queen," she lovingly reassured. "I think you will find the court a very different place today. I believe that those same women who feared you before will do so no longer."

"Why?" Eärwen scoffed. "Because I am meeting them by myself today and not on the arm of their king?"

"No, actually because they are meeting you by themselves today and not on the arms of their lords."

The reluctant queen looked at her doubtfully. "Why would that make any difference?"

Anairë expertly adjusted the collar of her friend's elaborate royal attire as she explained. "Because their husbands are away redeeming their families' honor just as your husband is in his leading the Noldorin army under the banners of the Valar to fight Morgoth. Why do you think that so many of our men left for this war? Following the Valar into battle, they not only prove their loyalty to the Powers by devotion in a just cause, they also see themselves as atoning with their own blood for the sins of the kin who rebelled and departed before them. They also have gone in service of your husband to prove their loyalty and courage to him. The women left behind, they will no longer see you as the Telerin kinswoman of someone their own brothers, sons, or fathers murdered in Alqualondë. These women can now look on you in pride as a sister whose man has also gone to war and as servants whose kin serve their king with their very lives."

Smiling proudly Anairë turned Eärwen toward the mirror once more and grasped the royal shoulders in loving support. "Take courage, my queen, as you go out to face the ladies of the court, for their pride will now allow them to have the courage to face you."


End file.
